


Michael and the Human Soul

by michaelfalls



Series: Heart and Soul [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Poetry, Samifer - Freeform, inspired a little bit by so says the sword by komodobits, or an attempt of it, post s5 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelfalls/pseuds/michaelfalls
Summary: Ten years in the cage is a lot of time for Michael to learn about humans.
Relationships: Michael/Adam Milligan
Series: Heart and Soul [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873357
Comments: 9
Kudos: 65





	Michael and the Human Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/58giJV5CqqwR4SJbrWAAd8?si=450cryw6Q8GEvTdlzM2dAQ

_I can’t even hold your hand,_  
_but I love you with a love_  
_that no one can understand._

**I.C.**

_Nobody sleeps on the first night._  
Often, that rule is applied to prisoners,  
when cold steel bars keep them from slumber,  
wishing that history could be rewritten.

But there is no book when you’re mortal,  
no pen when you’re not God,  
and no strikes when you’re dead.

Michael knows this,  
and he is sure that the vessel does too.  
Adam Milligan,  
a Minnesota man.  
Half-brother to the Winchesters,  
and his second vessel after Dean.

The new Michael Sword.  
One more compliant,  
and more reliable,  
than a rebel who goes straight for battle  
and thinks himself invincible.

He had to applaud Castiel,  
he has been more blasphemous than any angel he’d known.  
Not even Lucifer could hold a candle to him  
for he’d never fallen in love.

And Castiel, so foolishly taken in  
by the fantasy of an irresistible soul.  
The poor future Seraphim.

But Michael had seen the way Dean had stopped  
when Castiel exploded into a billion atoms,  
blood spraying like fireworks  
across a dismal canvas.  
He saw the way his face had fallen  
much like Castiel from Heaven,  
faster than a forest fire  
spreading in the summer.

He loved him, Michael could see,  
and it was truly such a shame  
that they will have to share the blame  
when the whole world notices  
that they have killed them all  
to have a few more seconds.

Michael will never understand  
what it is about Dean Winchester  
that Castiel could not withstand  
the charm behind his banter,  
the rebellious nature of his pride,  
trails of pain he leaves in his wake  
and his tendency to break  
and all his failures to abide.

 _What was so worth saving?_  
Michael cannot grasp the notion  
of sacrificing everything  
for one ungrateful human.

 _Love_ , Michael surmises,  
_is why Castiel did what he did._  
And still, it seemed erroneous.

But Michael had no time to ponder  
the aftereffects of a lover  
because Lucifer grasps him,  
drags him down with him,  
and they invade the depths of Hell.

Aggression is a key trait of Lucifer's  
and so he refuses to surrender.  
A more elaborate way of explaining  
that they have not stopped fighting  
since landing in the pit  
with the cage locked behind them.

Their vessels begin to grow tired,  
injuries taking longer to heal.  
Michael has not checked on his vessel  
since the fight first started.

It is months later when Lucifer yields,  
struggling to breathe in their battlefield.  
“Enough! Okay, enough,  
I need a break.  
Leave me alone and I'll do the same."

Lucifer picks a corner,  
Michael takes the other.  
It proved to be a better solution  
than his constant aggression.

_Michael._

Michael looks up: _What?_

The vessel has a request, _  
Can I come out?_

 _No_ , Michael answers.  
_You will stay in there_  
_for this body is yours no longer._

 _Fine,_ the vessel says.

He goes quiet after that,  
and there Michael sat  
in the cold and hopeless prison,  
a cage for a heathen.

Then he realises it;

he is alone.

The next time the vessel speaks  
is when Lucifer next admits defeat  
after Michael tears a hole in his feathers  
and Lucifer burns Michael’s halo.

It has been ten months since they were trapped.  
They agree to have a month where they leave one another alone.

 _Michael_ ,  
the vessel calls.  
_Can I come out?_

 _No_ , Michael denies.

_Can I talk to you, at least?_

Despite his resolve to not talk to his vessel,  
Michael’s loneliness gets the best of him  
and he’s sure it is the same for the vessel.  
So, reluctantly, Michael agrees.  
Too weak to manifest him in the waking world,  
Michael settles for hearing his voice.

 _Are you going to get us out of this cage?_  
The vessel inquires.

 _I will_ , Michael assures.  
_I’m finding a way out of here._

 _Fighting Lucifer isn't helping_ ,  
the vessel says, almost ridiculing.  
_Unless he has a key_  
_and you haven't told me._

 _He doesn't have a key,  
_Michael says.  
_But I refuse to bring him with me  
when we get out of this inferno.  
_

_What about Sam?_  
_Will you leave him here?_  
There is a concern in his voice,  
and it baffles Michael why  
the vessel cared about Sam Winchester.

 _We will see_ , Michael decides.

 _Is God gonna help us?_  
The vessel asks.

Michael thinks long and hard  
for an answer that wouldn't be a lie.

The revelation is gradual,  
a downward drop from a precipice,  
and Michael is confounded  
when he sees his hands are shaking.

He answers,  
quiet,  
_No,_  
_He's not coming._

Lucifer leaves an ugly gash in Michael's side  
as Michael leaves one in his core,  
and therefore both angels decide  
to take a break once more.

_What's going on?_  
_Are you okay?_

_I need to rest_ ,  
Michael says.  
_To hazard a guess,_  
_for a few days._

The vessel is concerned,  
checking the healing injury,  
urging Michael to pull off the jacket  
an attempt to stop the bleeding.  
_Can I help you?_

 _No, it’s an injury on me,_  
_not the vessel._  
_I will have to wait and see_ ,  
Michael settles.

 _Well, tell me if there’s anything I can do,_  
the vessel says.  
_And stop calling me a vessel._  
_I have a name._

 _Adam_ ,  
Michael tries.  
The name is foreign in his jaw,  
glaring profoundly in his chest,  
blazing brighter in his core.

 _There we go_ ,  
Adam smiles.  
_That wasn't so hard._

 _No_ , Michael agrees.  
_It really wasn't._

Michael spends a night with Adam,  
manifests him in the waking world with him.  
There wasn’t any reason to  
but he had simply been lonely  
and he didn’t want to talk to Lucifer  
and Adam seemed better company.

They lie on the cold steel floor together,  
looking up at the bars overhead.  
Adam doesn’t move closer or further,  
and not one word was said.

Yet, Michael felt less alone.  
Unconsciously, he enjoyed it.  
Even if it was still silence,  
it was a different kind,  
one with absence,  
but well defined  
with a pleasant soul.

The nights pass quicker with Adam by his side,  
and they seemed to have been alright with the quiet,  
until Adam looks to Michael one night,  
and his voice is considerate,  
“Michael?”

His name sounds different in Adam's mouth.  
It’s not the first time he has said it,  
but it did not sound the same.

“Yes?”

“Just telling you,”  
Adam says.  
“That I don’t blame you.”

“It’s my fault that we’re still here,”  
Michael insists, faintly wondering  
when ‘I am’ turned to ‘we are’,  
when he started feeling compelled  
to rescue Adam from this fate.  
"You never signed up for this."

"I signed up to be the punching bag,"  
Adam chuckles,  
a soft little thing.

"That's not the duty you were promised to serve,"  
Michael points out, "You don't deserve  
any of this pointless fighting."

Adam looks over at Lucifer.  
"So now it's unnecessary?"

"We are in a cage, Adam.  
Lucifer can't do anything when he's confined,"  
Michael exhales from his borrowed lungs.  
“I should have gotten you out by now.  
I understand that it does nothing,  
but I regret what happened to you  
and I hope you accept my apology."

Adam soaks in Michael's regret,  
lets it be known, the weight of the debt.  
Michael has lived for billions of years  
but no moment has felt quite so long  
as while he waited for Adam's response.

Quietly, like leaves in the wind,  
Adam asks,  
"Are we friends?"

Michael ponders it over no longer than a second before he answers,  
"I believe that we are... If you believe it as well."

"If we're friends, then you should know,"  
Adam says, sitting up to look down at him,  
"That I don't blame you."

"Thank you," Michael replies,  
for once, unable to verbalise just how grateful he was,  
because how do you begin to deserve forgiveness?

Yet, Adam gives it readily with a sincerity  
that Michael has never been graced with before.

Lucifer retreats into his vessel,  
and it is almost a full year since their descent  
that Sam Winchester appears.

Michael allows Adam to talk to Sam,  
withdrawing from control  
and sharing it with Adam.  
He is surprised at the ease  
in which they settle.

Adam does not forgive Sam,  
which comes as no wonder to Michael.  
Yet, Sam is disconcerted  
and tries to earn his forgiveness.

Adam does not back down,  
he counters Sam's points with his own,  
and he is unrecognisable  
from the bashful human Michael knew.

A remark is passed about how  
Adam should have said no,  
that Michael's loyalties have no vow,  
and he will leave Adam cold  
to go crawling back to God.

Michael pushes Adam back in,  
stops him from resurfacing,  
walks up close to Sam and gets in his face.

"Listen to me, Winchester.  
If it wasn't before, I'll make it clear.  
In this cage, there is just us four.  
If you haven't noticed, there's no door."  
Michael's finger shoves Sam,  
provoking him into a response.  
"Adam may be stuck with me,  
but you are stuck with Lucifer.  
So before you misplace your worry,  
take a good look at yourself."

Sam regards him with alarm,  
realising that he is now Michael.  
"Well, I'm sorry, Michael,  
but you wanted to possess Dean too  
and you tossed him aside once you couldn't use him.  
So why would you treat Adam any different?  
I'm just trying to look out for him."

“We wouldn’t be having this discussion  
if you were truly looking out for him.  
None of us would be in Hell,  
this is all your doing,”  
Michael argues.  
“You no longer have to agonise,  
he is now in my protection.  
You have greater obstacles  
than a fellow prisoner.”

Sam falls back,  
silent and resigned,  
and Michael ignores the hateful heat in his veins.

It’s a week later  
when Sam speaks once more.  
“Michael, I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

“What do you want?”  
Michael cuts over,  
removing Adam from the conversation.

“I watched the way you and Adam are.  
For the past week, it’s the only thing I saw that wasn’t Lucifer,”  
Sam explains.

Michael questions, impatient,  
“What’s your point?”

“I’m sorry,” Sam says.  
“Cas gave up everything  
for my brother Dean,  
so I’ve seen it before,  
I’ve seen an angel fall.”

Michael stares at him,  
disturbed in spite of it,  
affected beyond reason  
and disbelieving of the brazenness,  
the implication that he is the same as that angel,  
the one who gave it all for one human.

“I have not fallen,”  
Michael denies.  
“Maybe you’re bored in this cage  
and that, I understand,  
but I will not feed into your fantasy.  
Adam is not your sibling,  
and I am not your friend.”

“What are you trying to prove?”  
Sam challenges, no longer scared.  
“That Cas is weaker than you?  
That you don’t really care?  
Because I have seen you  
when you think I’m not there.”

“Is this really important?”  
Michael snaps.  
“You have the devil in you, Winchester,  
I think you have bigger concerns.”

“Yes, because Adam is my brother,”  
Sam answers, relentless  
like the older Winchester.  
“And you are dangerous.”

“Like Castiel isn’t?”  
Michael finds himself cracking,  
a mouse in a trap set in steel.  
“I’ll remind you that he is an angel,  
a warrior of God’s.  
He is not your friend  
and he is not Dean's.  
When he cracks,  
and he will,  
you will see that he has never been strong.  
You will know that you were wrong  
to ever dare to believe  
that he belonged to Dean.”

“So you think Cas is weak, then,”  
Sam summarises, sharp,  
striking where he shouldn’t,  
digging deeper into a soul  
Michael didn’t want to know.  
“Why, because he loves Dean?  
Because he gave him everything?  
Let me tell you, Michael,  
he is much stronger than you.”

“I’m an Archangel,” Michael says,  
bitter and awful.  
“He’s nothing special.  
I am stronger and braver than Castiel will ever be.”

Sam Winchester does not back down,  
his heart hardened by the cage.  
“Love takes a different kind of strength  
and another level of bravery.  
If you knew anything about humans,  
you would understand.”

And then,  
finally,  
Sam concedes,  
letting the fight die down  
into a smouldering flame  
left to dance away its embers.

Michael admits after a moment's passing,  
"I don't understand human beings."

Sam looks out at raging hellfire,  
glare reflected in his eyes.  
"I know you don't."

One year after they land in the cage,  
Sam Winchester's body has been salvaged.  
He leaves behind a soul so vulnerable,  
that Lucifer knows it is breakable.  
Michael watches as Lucifer tears it apart,  
puts pieces back together to pull at the seams.  
The living Sam may have no heart,  
but Michael is sure that it's better than the extremes  
Lucifer has subjected his soul to.

Lucifer and Michael have come to an agreement;  
They decided to call off their unending war  
on account of losing sight of what they were fighting for.

Besides, Lucifer had a new plaything  
and given that it's not Adam,  
Michael had no complaints.

It's not like Sam could feel this torture either way.

And he would never admit it,  
but maybe a part of Michael  
felt horribly bitter that Sam could escape,  
but Adam was trapped here.

He knew who really deserved to stay.

Sam's soul is liberated from the cage not very long after.  
Dean has sent Castiel to fetch it, Michael gathers.  
He's not surprised;  
Castiel worships Dean like a god,  
and he follows him like a dog.  
Though, Michael had been curious why Castiel left his soul behind.

That night was the first time Adam rolls over to face Michael.

"You're thinking about something,"  
Adam observes.

Michael barely smiles.  
"How would you know?"

"You seem different,"  
Adam shrugs, still looking at him.  
"You know, after a year of being like this,  
I can kinda feel when you're different."  
He notices the faint smile then,  
and follows with a grin of his own.  
"See, you're smiling. Different.  
What's got you feeling so happy?"

"I don't feel happy,"  
Michael corrects.  
"I don't feel anything."

"I think I know you well enough by now,"  
Adam points out.  
"But what were you thinking about?"

" _You_ should have been saved,"  
Michael finally says.

Adam blinks.  
"Really, you're mad because I'm still here?"

"Not exactly," Michael stumbles over his thoughts.  
"I'm glad you're here, but I'd like it if you were out  
on Earth, walking free."

Adam nods slowly.  
"Oh."

"Having you here is one of the only things keeping me from going insane,"  
Michael admits, turning to face Adam,  
and if he could feel anything,  
he'd be a little embarrassed.

"Same," Adam agrees,  
a weary smile on his face.

"You know what's funny?"  
Adam asks one night,  
rusted metal reflecting hellfire on their faces.

Michael humours him.  
"What's funny?"

"I haven't felt hungry at all  
and we've been here for over a year,"  
Adam grins, amused at the thought.  
"I thought I'd want a burger."

"Well, we are in the same body,"  
Michael considers.  
"I don't have to eat,  
so you no longer have to feel hungry."

"That's awesome," Adam marvels.

Michael glances at him,  
raises an eyebrow in his direction.  
"I would think that you would be disappointed.  
I know humans like to eat."

"Yeah, but it's kind of annoying,"  
Adam laments. "Imagine doing something  
you really wanted to do,  
and then you have to stop to eat."

"I can't imagine that,"  
Michael frowns.  
"If I had to do something,  
then I would simply eat later."

Adam sighs and rolls over,  
leans on one elbow to look at Michael.  
Michael watches as a smile graces his profile,  
a sunny little grin,  
like orange leaves in the fall.

"Think about it,"  
Adam suggests.  
"Something you really want to do right now."

Michael thinks about it.  
He'd really like to be out of the cage,  
free,  
perhaps somewhere nice and warm like a seaside,  
shake the cold steel out of his wings.  
And then his mind spins the fantasy for him,  
adding detail after detail to perfection,  
and he sees Adam stretching his arms,  
turning his palms up to the sun,  
with a happy laugh sent his way,  
asking him to join him,  
feel the water between his toes,  
and the heat on his skin.

Adam adds, "Now imagine  
that there's all this food in front of you,  
and you're hungry as hell."

"What does hungry feel like?"  
Michael asks.

"Like your stomach's empty,"  
Adam answers.  
"And like you'll collapse if you don't eat something."

Michael imagines it.

"And now you either eat or do the thing,"  
Adam says.  
"Do you eat or do the thing?"

Michael pauses, dumbfounded at his answer,  
how quickly it had come to mind  
and how hot his face had become.

"I would do the thing,"  
Michael says slowly.

"Exactly," Adam laughs,  
happy to get the point across.  
"What did you imagine?"

It's very strange when Michael finds himself reluctant to answer,  
and he doesn't,  
simply turning to the other side,  
letting Adam play a guessing game with himself.  
If he was honest with himself,  
he didn't want to know why he imagined what he did.

Because it would be admitting that he and Castiel  
really weren't that different after all.

The first time Michael gives Adam full reign  
is after Lucifer damages him so severely  
that he can barely hang on the reins.

It is true that they had a truce,  
but they got into a disagreement --  
Lucifer just woke up on the wrong side of the metaphorical bed,  
and Michael was caught in the crossfire  
before he even knew there was a fight.

Michael discovers that when he manifests while injured,  
he is not the easiest to look at,  
and he discovers this by the way Adam recoils  
when his eyes meet his.

"Oh my God,"  
Adam exhales, reaching out.

Michael leans away,  
reluctant to let Adam touch him,  
for fear of something in him changing.  
He says instead to ease him,  
"I don't think God has anything to do with this."

"It's a figure of speech," Adam mutters,  
then his hand is grazing Michael's face  
where a cut lines the cheekbone,  
and Michael goes still.  
"Can I do anything?"

"No," Michael answers,  
finding it difficult to breathe.  
"I'll be alright in a while."

Adam withdraws, hesitant,  
and Michael distantly misses  
the touch of his fingers.

Lucifer noticed a change,  
Michael knows he has.  
You don't know someone for billion of years  
and fail to see when something has shifted.

Despite it, Lucifer says nothing,  
choosing instead to watch it unfold.

Michael isn't sure if he wants to acknowledge that he has changed,  
or consider the matter of if this is really a change  
or an unveiling.

True to his nature,  
Lucifer challenges Michael once again,  
and they brawl until they can't anymore,  
heaving breaths from rented chests,  
spilling blood from foreign veins.

Michael demands a way out of the cage,  
and Lucifer insists that he has no key.  
That they are trapped here forever  
until God decides to intervene.

It enrages Michael deeply,  
his failure to Adam aching in him,  
and he takes his anger out on Lucifer,  
pulling on wings and twisting limbs.

Lucifer retires to his corner, exhausted,  
and Michaels returns to his own.  
When Lucifer passes out,  
Michael pulls back and shares the vessel with Adam,  
too weak to keep it on his own,  
but not wanting Adam to feel the magnitude of his injuries.

Adam asks what happened,  
asks for answers and gives weightless threats.  
Concern lines every consonant.

"We're stuck here,"  
Michael reveals.  
They'd known this --  
they have always known this --  
but before, he still had hope that he could save Adam.

 _We will get out,_  
Adam says.  
_This isn’t forever._

“I’m sorry, Adam,”  
Michael says,  
tired,  
beaten,  
broken.  
“I tried my best.”

His hand rises to his face,  
Adam's doing,  
and Michael watches silently.

 _Hey, you tried._  
Softly, Adam touches a kiss to their finger.  
Just a gentle press against his thumb and yet...

Michael falters.

He stares,  
quiet,  
_waiting_  
for a fleeting kiss to stretch into summers.   
With bated breath  
in a trembling cage,  
that is all there is.  
Michael feels his chest ripple with emotions.  
He simply _feels_ ,  
but he has never felt before.

Adam fades from consciousness,  
like a face in a relentless stream,  
failing to fight the current,  
and it is quiet once again.

Hesitant,  
Michael lets his finger  
fall back upon his lip  
and sits in the silence  
of his heavy revelations,  
feeling the remainder  
of Adam’s lingering kiss  
resting on his finger  
and tingling on his lips.

As it turns out,  
emotions can be taught,  
and affection can be learned,  
but only with a gentle hand  
and an open heart.

Years of watching humankind had never taught Michael  
what the clear definition of romance was.  
He knew romance films,  
and never saw any.  
He knew romance books,  
but he only read the Bible and the classics.

He'd stayed far away from anything  
remotely affiliated with human emotion,  
averse to a romanticised reality.

He sticks, instead, to facts.

The facts are that he has witnessed Castiel,  
seen what he has done for Dean Winchester,  
what he has become,  
the ways that he has changed.

How he'd learned emotions for himself,  
gained a mind of his own,  
done more in one year than Heaven has in aeons.

Michael is good at a lot of things,  
but he was never good at facing his flaws.  
Even worse than that,  
he was never good at getting rid of the cause.

Therefore, the problem always persisted,  
and the situation never changed.

Michael, the fiercest angel in the garrisons,  
reduced to a speechless confusion in a new kind of Heaven.  
Unable to believe that Adam is all it takes  
to weaken Michael's defences.

 _This doesn't mean anything_ ,  
Michael lies to himself.  
_You owe Adam._  
  
_But..._ Michael falters,  
_But I want him._

Lucifer’s mocking nature shows itself  
and at this point, Michael just thinks:  
It’s about damn time.

He is provoking,  
looking for anything that can break him  
just to have a little entertainment.

At last, he grins,  
finding his aim.  
He fires the arrow,  
straight and narrow,  
and doesn't miss the mark:

“You like him."

Michael doesn't crack;  
he holds his pieces together  
and pushes Adam as far as he can  
into the corners of their vessel.  
“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know what I mean,”  
Lucifer smiles, a mocking grin  
across his true form's face.  
“You’ve grown fond of your vessel.  
The same way Castiel  
has fallen for Dean Winchester.  
You like him.”

 _You like him._  
Michael _knows_ he likes him,  
and it is that magnitude  
that trembles in his bones,  
making grace weakness,  
making him human.

“But it’s more than that,”  
Lucifer says.  
“You’d die for that human.”

"Be quiet,"  
Michael mutters.

Today's attack is not physical,  
only verbal,  
one end of the cage to the other,  
and yet it ached more than anything before.

"Because I'm right,"  
Lucifer cackles, glowing brighter in delight.  
"You shouldn't have done that.  
It's never good to have your weakness so close.  
Tell me, I never got to feel this,  
how does it feel to worry about someone else?  
Always looking through the blinds,  
looking at the time...  
Because you are that desperate, no?  
To keep him close,  
let nothing hurt him again?"

Michael doesn't answer.

"All things die, Michael,"  
Lucifer says, tone suddenly cold.  
"This is a waste of time.  
Adam won't last very long,  
so save yourself some effort while we're in here."

And then Michael is left alone,  
thoughts crashing in his borrowed mind,  
of human vessels and Castiel.  
Kisses to a finger and falling in a spell.

It’s easier to act,  
he’ll say this isn’t loving.  
He lies when he’s fine,  
but at least he’ll be convinced.

"If we ever escape this cage,"  
Michael starts one night,  
turning to face Adam.  
"What will you do first?"

Adam looks at him  
and Michael looks right back.  
For moments, it is silent,  
heavy with contemplation,  
and Adam finally says,  
"I don't know."

Michael frowns.  
"You don't know?"

"It's been over two years,"  
he points out.  
"Everything is different.  
I don't know where I'd even start."

Michael thinks it over.  
"I think you could get a job.  
I could help you with whatever you need."

"Thanks, Mike,"  
Adam says.

It is the first time Adam has called him Mike,  
and something in Michael twists painfully,  
but he doesn't say anything.

In a church, the windows emit rainbow lighting,  
stained with dyes and fragmented paintings.  
Often, they meet in a beautiful glow  
right at the altar where the Father goes.

Adam reminds Michael a little bit of that view,  
there is something about him Michael cannot resist...  
When he touches him, Michael is thrilled,  
and he knows that Adam concedes.

Now Michael has been made aware,  
that you can be touched by miracles  
when you are brought down by despair.

He supposes he just never thought that  
one tiny human could've been his miracle,  
in a dark and dismal prison.

But it made sense  
that he was his weakness.  
Michael didn't have much else.

Michael understands,  
very belatedly,  
that Lucifer meant it when he said  
he shouldn't keep his weaknesses near.

The moment Michael lets Adam take control,  
a second to check on the wounds on his form,  
Lucifer grabs Adam and ruptures a hole  
and Adam collapses, his blood is warm.

Something in Michael shatters,  
a fear that runs cold in his veins.  
Something so profoundly  
devastating  
that he acts without thinking.

Michael pulls Adam back in,  
desperate to save him,  
stows him away somewhere  
that Lucifer can't get there.  
Hides him deep within his vessel  
that he's untouchable by the devil.

“Lucifer, what the hell are you doing?  
If you want to kill me, that’s fine.  
But don’t you dare lay a hand on him.”  
Everything comes rushing out  
like tides crashing on a shore,  
and Michael spills the heart and soul  
he never had before.  
“He has done nothing to be sent here,  
believe me, I would know."

"You would know. Of course, you would know,"  
Lucifer cackles and mocks.  
"You're the first since Castiel  
who's fallen in love with a mortal."

"Watch your mouth,"  
Michael warns.  
"If you lay a hand on Adam,  
I will kill you, Lucifer."

"I'd like to see you try,"  
Lucifer says,  
insufferable grin.

The last few moments in between  
as the void of Hell collapses.  
Michael is desperate  
if nothing else.  
In a raging bid  
to save his friend.

Is this what Castiel felt?  
Like he had no other choice?

He grabs Lucifer's wings,  
twists where they don't,  
pulls at his limbs  
and tears what he could.  
Lucifer fights back with fire in his eyes,  
halo darkened with aggression.  
He doesn't hold back  
and neither does Michael.

"What are you even doing this for?"  
Lucifer shouts above the battle.  
"For honour? Or for love?"

"Shut the hell up,"  
Michael says.

"Because I'm right and you know it!"  
Lucifer roars.  
"Just look at yourself, brother!  
You're _crying_ , for God's sake!"

Michael runs a hand under his eye.  
It comes away wet,  
shimmering light under hellfire.  
He didn't know he could cry.  
"What did you do to me?"

"What did _I_ do to you?"  
Lucifer almost laughs.  
"What did _Adam_ do to you?"

Michael rips one of Lucifer's wings out of his back.

Michael manifests himself to Adam,  
looking just as battered than before.

Adam asks, tentatively,  
"Can I see your real form?"

"Why?" Michael asks.

Adam rolls his eyes,  
smiles easily,  
"I can't help you if I don't know what I'm dealing with."

"Mortal eyes can't perceive my true form, they'll go blind,"  
Michael says, suddenly feeling overly aware  
of all his wings and limbs,  
his less-than-human face.

"If you've forgotten, I'm not alive anymore,"  
Adam says, matter-of-fact.  
"I think I'll manage."

Michael unfurls,  
pours out into each inch of the void he fills,  
shows Adam every part of him.

Adam watches carefully,  
taking in every detail, committing to memory.  
He smiles that same happy smile,  
"You're fucking _beautiful_ , Michael."

Adam runs a hand through one of his wings,  
against his hands, the feathers sing.  
He says, mindlessly,  
"I think I love you."

As it turns out,  
Adam loves him.  
Michael didn't know what he meant;  
as he'd come to realise, there is more than one kind of love.  
But Adam loves him.  
He knew the bloody battles he'd fought  
and the heartless things he has done,  
and he didn't care about any of it.

Michael's heart stumbles over things he doesn't know.

"Adam,"  
Michael calls one night.

They roll over to face one another,  
almost like clockwork by now.  
They rarely didn't look at each other  
when lying side-by-side.

"Does this not bother you?"  
Michael asks,  
gesturing to his borrowed face.  
"If you'd prefer it, I can show as someone else."

"Doesn't bother me," Adam shrugs,  
"You seem like a different person...  
Like I don't see myself, you know?  
I just see you."

Michael's mouth twitches at the corners,  
and he realises that he is smiling,  
in spite of every trace of logic in him  
telling him that there is no turning back from that.

Michael smiles, truly, for the first time,  
after three years since arriving in Hell.  
It was astonishing that it didn't feel like Hell at all.

Spending almost four years in the cage with Adam  
has taught Michael more about humans  
than any amount of time on Earth.

He learned that hunger isn't far from desire,  
but that desire is encompassing,  
and hunger is resistible.

He learned that he had a weakness,  
and he couldn't let him go no matter how hard he tried.

He learned that Adam likes to sleep on his side  
instead of on his back.  
He learned that Adam prefers burgers to pizzas,  
and used to play baseball.  
He learned that Sam taught Adam how to shoot a gun  
and that Adam was found by Castiel once.  
He learned that Adam's hair turns gold  
where the hellfire lights the edges.  
He learned that Adam was studying medicine  
and that he was going to be a doctor  
before the Winchesters arrived.

He learned that Castiel may not have been so blasphemous after all  
and he finally understood why he does the things he does.

"I'm sure you have family back on Earth,"  
Michael says one night.  
Accepting that he is just a part of his life  
that Adam can abandon with ease  
seemed to be the right thing to do.  
"If we get out of Hell,  
you have somewhere to go."

_Please just make it easy,_  
_say I never mattered._  
_Say that you don't love me._

"You're all I have, Michael,"  
Adam smiles,  
tender and small,  
yet it aches deep in Michael's chest,  
and he feels oddly blessed.

It’s a little compensation  
for a little less delusion.  
More realistic living  
for less wishful thinking,  
because Michael never learned how  
to handle vying for a man  
who doesn’t truly love him,  
not the way he wished he did.

It is five years after their fall into Hell  
that Lucifer is freed from the cage.  
Amara had been freed, and  
Castiel, desperate Castiel,  
agrees to be Lucifer's newest vessel.

It is just Michael and Adam now,  
no Lucifer leering at them,  
no more looking over his shoulder  
so he can't get the jump again.

Michael preferred this a lot more.

Michael gives Adam more control after Lucifer leaves in Castiel's body,  
manifests in the waking world to talk to him as separate beings.  
Instead of just nights, they spent all day together.

Even with all that he's seen,  
Michael never seemed to get bored.

Adam says he'd decided after careful contemplation  
that after their liberation  
he wants to stick with Michael.

"There are no happy endings  
with people like me,"  
Michael tries.  
"You will never be happy,  
and how can you ever live  
knowing the things I have done?"

“If you forgive all my sin,  
I’ll forgive all of yours,”  
Adam says,  
quiet and earnest,  
even the fiercest of angels find it  
impossible to deny him.

"But you have no sins,"  
Michael says,  
confused.

"Then neither do you,"  
Adam says,  
simple.

Michael is starting to find it difficult to recall  
what exactly his life had been like before.  
He starts to realise that, perhaps, love is a high,  
someone who gives you some peace of mind.

 _Save me, Father_ ,  
Michael thinks.  
_He has me by my heart,_  
_and my heart, by its strings._

Adam is a quiet sleeper.  
Michael doesn't sleep at all.  
He looks on one of the many nights,  
the way Adam's chest rises and falls,  
and he thinks to himself:  
_I understand, Castiel._  
_My deepest apologies._

Michael looks out of the cage bars,  
out into a raging inferno.  
What once felt like suffering,  
now felt warm.

 _Hard to believe I was Plan B, huh?_  
Adam says from within,  
grin clear in his voice.

"More than I bargained for..."  
Michael says honestly.  
"I don't know why I tried so hard for Dean.  
If I'd known who you were,  
I wouldn't have tried at all."

Michael presses his lips to their thumb,  
the same way Adam did years before,  
and Adam falls quiet  
but their heart is full.

Adam is half-asleep,  
seven years after they were imprisoned,  
when he says it in the fog of his dreams,  
"I love you."

Michael has never felt so human.

Michael says it back one week later  
when Adam is awake and will remember.

"I love you too."

"I thought angels can't love anything,"  
Adam says, a smile on his face.

"Clearly," Michael smiles.  
"I was wrong."

Michael was there when God reset the world,  
put a family and some animals on an ark,  
and flushed his handiwork down the metaphorical drain.

He'd reset it so completely that now,  
even if you looked long and hard,  
you'd never find any evidence  
that previous life ever existed  
or that the flood even happened.

And yet, nobody has quite managed to reset the world  
the way Adam has done -- half the effort,  
with everything new.

Ten years since sentenced to perdition,  
the lock on the cage breaks,  
gates of Hell forced open  
and thrown into mayhem.

Ten years until Michael and Adam are free.

Adam eats a burger when they get out,  
a small booth in a little diner,  
paint peeling on the walls with frayed ends on the leather seats.

It's endearing;  
he had no need to eat,  
he simply just missed burgers.  
Michael watches him eat with a smile.

"Are you going back to Heaven?"  
Adam asks with the burger in his hands.

"My brothers are dead, my father is gone,"  
Michael points out.  
"There is nothing for me there."

"I get it," Adam sympathises.  
"I don't have family here either."

Michael questions,  
"You won't look for the Winchesters?"

"Screw 'em, they left me to rot in Hell,"  
Adam mutters.  
"I think I just wanna get some new clothes,  
maybe a little job somewhere."

Michael nods, a little overwhelmed at the idea of,  
for once in his life,  
having nowhere to go,  
no duty to fulfil.

"So where do you plan to go?"  
Michael asks instead of voicing his concerns.

"Where do you wanna go?"  
Adam returns.

Michael pauses.  
"You want me to go with you?"

Adam gives him a strange smile.  
"I thought we decided that in Hell.  
I said I was gonna stick with you."

Then Lilith arrives and Michael takes control,  
making it clear that no harm will befall Adam,  
not with him around.

He smites Lilith  
and lets Adam finish his burger.

It doesn't take long for the Winchesters to find them,  
and it almost surprises Michael that Castiel is still there.

When they are alone,  
Michael doesn't offer an apology,  
but it seems like he understands.

Adam does the one thing he never thought anyone could do,  
more than getting him to feel,  
and getting him to reject Heaven.

"God left you in Hell,  
you still care if he thinks that you're the good son?"  
Adam argues.  
But there is no venom in his bite,  
no harshness in his words,  
and Michael stops trying to be a good son.

They send Dean and Castiel to Purgatory,  
between them, a strange animosity,  
but Michael no longer bothered.

Dean apologises to Adam before they leave.

When they get out,  
the sun kisses their face  
and Michael laughs to the sky.

"So where to, Adam?"


End file.
